We met in the times of COVID19

She had my heart since the day I first saw her pics. She was tiny, few weeks old. I could walk few steps without tumbling. Along with her her she peeped from a cardboard wall. 

Black coat, brown eyes, brown eyebrows, and white nape. Her brothers were as cute. I mean which puppies are not? They are all heart stealers, melters. I was confused for sometime. The friend,I was to adopt one of the puppies from, suggested this curious-eyed ball. "It will be difficult for her to get adopted because she is female," the friend said. 

I knew very little about dogs. Have always had Indian dogs until I took up a job in New Delhi. Then I didn't have any. My dogs in the past were absolute independents. They depended on me only for food. I depended on the for cuddles and my love for talking to myself or someone who wouldn't judge my musings. Sometimes, they would want my love, mostly when sick, but that's it. 

Never had a female pet though. So, I asked the friend why no one would take Zola, the female pup. "Because some people don't like it when they are on heat," she said.

"I will have her then," I replied without a second thought. That was in February/March and I had already moved to Goa from Mumbai. She was too young to come along so I had to wait. 

When Zola was not suckling anymore, the friend got ready to visit Goa. As bad luck would have it, two trips could not materialize. Then the day Zola was to take her train journey to Goa, total lockdown --the world's largest -- was imposed.  The novel coronavirus pandemic threatened the health of India's 1.3 billion people.  

Needless to say, it was heartbreaking. She was just about coming to me. We were to live together in my little apartment, lounge by the beach sometimes, play fetch. Dashed in a single word.  

Ever since, I had been watching her play over video call. She would look at the screen with bigger eyes each time, she was the fastest to catch a treat. She walked like a cat, her back swayed so gracefully. She got my heart.  All I could do then is call her name, but this kid was too distracted by her playing siblings.  Such as kid. 

Many disappointments later, she finally arrived in Goa, to me, last evening. Scared out of her wits. We had to drag her out of the car, carry her three floors, her heart pounding the whole time. 

She cowled herself in a corner, too scared to be touched. At that moment, I regretted having separated her from my friend who had taken care for her for so many months and the siblings she so loved playing with. But my friend already had a house full of pups. She is a caregiver to dogs. 

To my relief, though, she hadn't given up on eating. I had found the way to her heart. Chicken Dinner, it was! 

She gobbled it all, sniffed around the house a little more and placed herself on the couch. I slept next to her at night, spreading the sofa-cum-bed. Tired Zola took no time to stretch to her sleep. I sleep very late at night, sometimes well into daybreak. While she slept I read up on separation anxiety and how to calm her down. My friends kept handy. 

At around 3 am, Zola suddenly woke up, beating her tail vehemently to the left. Her heart pounding again. I really didn't know what to do. I tried not to stare at her and pretended to be asleep, so I don't intimidate her. She calmed down on her own and slept again in no time. 

I woke up early today, excited to feed her in her routine. Cooked her another batch of rice and chicken, left her favourite broth in a bowl, but she just wouldn't move from the corner. She had woken up in a strange place. I assumed the sweetest voice, calling her name ever so softly. She obliged by moving a bit but still was too scared to go to her food bowl. I carried her to her bowl, she holding be tight with her fore legs. She reminded me of every baby. 

I worked well into the afternoon, letting her stare at me and then at the TV in intervals. Then it was evening. I had relaxed much by now, striding around the house. I initiated her favourite 1,2,3 game, where she runs to get her treat. I could she how much she enjoyed it. I guess at that moment, we became friends. 

Her anxiety hasn't left her completely. She still fears stepping out of the house, probably thinking I would give her away. How to assure her that I would never give her away? I believe she will know it with time.

She becomes alert everytime I head to the bedroom or bathroom. Once when I took too long, since I was taking a bath, she began scratching the door. I called her name and assured her from inside. But everytime I stopped talking, she would resume scratching.  As I came out, she licked my feet, sniffed my hair. I played with her little more and then she decided it was bedtime.

Zola is sleeping now, on her side. Fast asleep. Few minutes back she had woken up, again flipping her tail, her heart pounding. I put my hand lightly on her belly and called her name. She came close and licked my mouth. 

I think she loves me back a little. I shall sleep better tonight with that thought. My baby is home!